Weekend Wellness: Mum’s the word for sound advice
RECENTLY I asked my mum, Laura, for some relationship advice. Tell me what you know about romance, I said, and how to keep it alive.
The letter she sent me back made me nod and smile. It was full of simple wisdom.
To all those in a relationship, I'm sharing her advice. Thanks mum.
Remember when you started going out together? How you thrilled to a warm smile, an admiring glance, an unexpected compliment, eyes locked on yours as he/she hung on your every word.
You spoke to each other in special voices, low and endearing, and seemed to be always laughing together at something.
Now you're living together. You both work hard for long hours and free time is so taken up with shopping, chores, socialising with friends and family that it can be hard to find time for yourselves. But you're happy as a couple and can't imagine life any other way.. And if sometimes you think wistfully of those early days and miss the romance, you know that it can't last forever. Or can it?
Wasn't it you two who created the romance, so why should it stop? There's still so much to know and love about that unique person you chose. Remember good manners, the simplest way of showing how much you respect them. No one deserves your best manners more than your own true love.
Keep hanging on their words.. Never start a sentence with "You always...." or, heaven forbid, that passion killer "Why do you always......." Isn't it more romantic to say "You're the only person I know who always …..makes me laugh/can fix anything/ has such a way with...." All the better if it's said when other people are listening.
Do you really need to change them? Didn't you fall in love with them just the way they are? There must be a lot to learn from a person so special that you fell in love with them. Inspired by your admiring example, they will respond in kind.
And keep on with the special tone of voice, the endearments, the unexpected kiss or caress. They are the spice to add the flavour of romance to every day of your happy ever after life together.
Helen Hawkes is a life and wellness coach. Go to www.helenhawkes.org