Race day glamour no obstacle to downtown tinkle

SHE was an absolute belter. A real stunner. Impeccable makeup, hair styled to perfection. A tidy package wrapped up in a sparkly dress.

We saw her at the Grand Hotel one Saturday night. I'd been in Gladdy only a couple weeks.

Later that evening we spied her again, this time next to the old Observer building with her skirt up around her knees mid-squat.

Yep, she was taking a leak for all to see in downtown Goondoon St. It was still pretty early in the evening too.

My mate David and I christened her Miss Gladdy 2011 there and then.

Now, I'm certainly no lady. And I've been known to do the odd wee outdoors.

It was just a stark contrast: a beautiful girl dressed to the nines tinkling in public.

I do get it. If you've gotta go, you've gotta go. I know this better than most. I pee a lot.

Always have. Must have a bladder the size of a thimble.

As a kid this was a huge issue. Here's a confession: I was a bed wetter. That's okay, so are a heap of littlies, you say.

But, no - I was still having accidents at 12. Very embarrassing.

I was that kid at school camp rocking a plastic sheet. Not ideal.

Luckily I grew out of it.

With the races on today, I dare say several fine young things will vie for the Miss Gladdy 2013 title. I'll take a punt on that.

Just go like a race horse, girls. That's how you make number one.