My tips for being a perfect bridesmaid!
I AM at the age where it seems all of my friends are getting married.
Every other weekend I'm frocking up to support one of my girlfriends during the happiest day of her life.
Yes, being a bridesmaid is quite an honour yet it is rife with pitfalls.
After many successes and even more bridesmaid fails, I have taken the liberty of compiling a list of do's and don'ts to make sure you give Pippa Middleton a run for her money.
Say yes to the dress. Hers, yours or the lady's up the street - the answer is yes, yes, yes. She will ask for your opinion on everything, especially her wedding dress, but don't be fooled - she cares about your opinion on the wedding/ bridesmaid dresses about as much as you care what kind of tablecloths will be used at the reception.
Definitely get strippers. Organising the hen's night is a huge amount of pressure. Especially because she will invariably say "I don't know what I want to do - just surprise me, but I definitely don't want strippers".
Wrong, she definitely does want strippers but just doesn't want to ask for them. Trust me, you don't want to wait until she has a couple of glasses of bubbly under her belt and asks when they are coming.
The look of disappointment is crippling and grabbing a random guy off the street and asking him to oblige hardly ever works.
Start saving. It does not matter if your best friend doesn't have a boyfriend, if you have the slightest inkling she may one day get married and you will get a start in the bridal party open a savings account.
The costs are endless and when she says you'll be able to wear the bridesmaid dress again she is lying. You can flush that couple of hundred bucks straight down the drain.
Never use the term Bridezilla. Even if it's true or you meant it as a joke, it's a mistake you will only make once.
Practise your excited face/squeal. This is for stuff you could not care less about.
Bride: "Aren't these the cutest tea light candles ever?"
You: "Oh. My. God. They are amazing. Aghhh!" (clap hands).
Be prepared to be yelled at. It will happen and when it does there is only one thing to do - shut your trap and take it like a woman.
Say good-bye to your Saturdays until the wedding is over. Pray it's not a long engagement. Dress-fittings, flower-hunting, venue-scouting, shoe-searching, hair trials, cake-tastings, bad fake tans - say hello to your new hobby.
Don't get too drunk at the wedding. The last thing you need is to be remembered as the trashy bridesmaid who snapped a heel while imitating a Dirty Dancing scene with an unsuspecting waiter.
If by the end you find yourself feeling incredibly stressed, emotional and homicidal even, chances are you have been the perfect bridesmaid. Congrats!