Humour Column: Wetting myself in public felt so good
FOLKS, this week I wet myself in public.
Of course I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only person in our region jumping about in the rain when the much hoped for showers finally arrived.
I reckon all the weary fire-fighters had enough energy to do a little jig for joy around their trucks as the damp stuff finally dropped from the heavens and doused the flames.
Gladstone's fashion victims would have been delighted with the cool change too. Especially the few die-hard 'gangstas' I saw staggering around town in the mind-numbing heat wearing jeans and hoodies.
They'll quickly discover the reason why there's so few Goths around here - they gave up trying to re-apply their thick, black mascara as it melted off their faces and moved to cooler climes.
Even the few politicians who popped by to check out the bushfire carnage had the good sense not to wear their suit jackets. Passing out in front of the cameras from heat exhaustion is not a good look when you're trying to win votes.
Having said that, I actually felt a bit sorry for the pollies who toured our region last week. Which might give you some indication how deeply my brain has been fried by the soaring temperatures.
They're in a bit of a tricky situation though aren't they? If they don't visit, then people complain (quite loudly) that they don't care, but when they turn up, they're accused of grandstanding.
Either way they can't win, just like some of our poor farmers.
As one laconic cocky said to me recently, "I'm a bit worried about this drought and all these fires, because I've seen some really terrible floods start out this way."
Which is why this weekend his, and quite a lot of other eyes, will be glued to the newly repaired Gladstone BOM radar in the feverish hope the predicted follow up rains will appear.
If history is any guide, the showers usually arrive in time to dampen the festive joy of the Mayor's Christmas Carols.
And if by some miracle it does, then quite a lot of people will be wetting themselves in public too.