CHRISTMAS RELIEF: Just add some lights and tinsel and you'll get my vote for best display.
CHRISTMAS RELIEF: Just add some lights and tinsel and you'll get my vote for best display. contrib

Humour Column: Time to light me up again this Christmas

Folks, this weekend the Brays will be out and about, driving in circles around Gladstone.

Don't say you weren't warned.

Like hundreds of other electronic pilgrims, we'll be enjoying our annual Christmas light pilgrimage and this year, we're travelling in style because we've hired a minibus.

Now, Long Suffering Wife and I are at an age when the delights and wonders of Christmas have slightly worn off.

Our children are all 'big kids' now and have their own licences and, as such, are more than capable of driving themselves around town these days.

For which I, and my exhausted car, are extremely grateful.

Also, on the rare occasions when I'm a little 'tired and emotional' they are now able to pick me up and drive me home too.

The trick is getting them to answer their phones before I run out of money at the bar to call for a taxi.

So, now that the little tackers are fully mobile, there was really no need for my wife and I to go out each year looking at Christmas Lights, other than for tradition.

And, to be honest, the already clogged streets of our suburbs really wouldn't miss one less car full of bedazzled gawpers.

But our opportunity to get off the Christmas light viewing merry-go-round vanished when we became grandparents.

So, this weekend we'll be dashing round town like a flustered reindeer from one Christmas light display to the next.

Speaking of which, for any granddads out there thinking of sitting in the back seat with the little monsters and making the occasion slightly merrier by enjoying a couple of ales, my advice is: don't.

I found out the hard way there are too few public toilets out in the suburbs and that my family get very annoyed listening to me complain loudly about my rupturing bladder.

Anyway, this year we've hired a small bus to take the Bray tribe Christmas light leering and hopefully, it will have a toilet on board.

On that note, if anyone adds a port-a-loo to their Christmas light display this year, then they'll definitely be getting my vote for best display.