C’mon twit, time to lighten up you can’t change the world

WELL, the time has come for another instalment of rabid thoughts to expel themselves from my brain and onto the pages.

Let me make one thing clear.

This is not a rant!

Oh no, this is more of a, I dunno, community announcement.

My attention, this episode, turns to those who take themselves too seriously.

For the sake of ease, we shall refer to them as twits for the remainder of this column.

Also cast alongside these twits are the other twits, those with far too great a sense of self-importance.

If you are one of these people, many would advise you to look away now, but I, however, am in the business of bettering those around me, so read on.

Scott Sawyer.
Scott Sawyer.

We all know one of them, we work with one or two of them, we may live with them, are related to them, there's always that one twit in the wider group of friends - you get what I'm saying.

That pompous, self-righteous knob head who firmly believes that they were somehow in the bloodlines of the royal family and thus should be treated as one of the mighty few.

They're usually the same noobs who believe that every single thing they do is world-changing, that they alone are the true keepers of the gate and that we would all be best served to heed their advice.

Woe is me the day I give a serious, honest answer to a question on first response.

Here's a hot tip, twits, you're wasting your lives.

One person cannot actually generate that much change; we are literally a drop in the ocean.

What can you honestly think you are achieving, by acting like you haven't dropped a deuce in over a month?

Those muppets who say "life is short, make everyday count", newsflash... Life is the longest thing we ever do.

So why not enjoy the hell out of it.

I have a philosophy, and by that I mean I don't, this is just simply how I am, I am serious when it comes to actually doing my job, my work, my 'craft', it's serious business, I'm protective of sources and dedicated to trying to write as honestly and truthfully as possible.

But don't for one second let that have you believe that I let that influence the way I act when I'm in the office and not on a call or hunting a yarn.

Woe is me the day I give a serious, honest answer to a question on first response.

If I can't fire back some smart-arse, nonsensical piece of useless tripe to a question before giving a helpful response, then that's it, I'm done, set me alight, I'm no longer good for this world.

Sure, it may not be for everyone, but Jesus, if you can't enjoy the day-to-day for what it is, living, then why bother?

Do you want to sit back when you're old and grey and go "you know what; I had a bloody boring time?"

"I was as fun as a wet blanket through the prime of my life, I was 100% serious all the time, I took myself too seriously, I thought I was a much bigger cog in the wheel than I am (we're actually all more like ball bearings)."

Jam that where it fits, twits.

I'll take being an idiot all day, any day of the week.

All you uptight ponces out there, listen - you can't change the world, but you can change the world around you, so lighten up and remember, nobody likes a dour bastard.