Children? You can keep them to yourself thanks

CHILDREN. You either love them or hate them. I guess I'm the latter. Sorry Mum.

But nothing disturbs me more than the squeal of a child mid-tantrum, especially if it's in a place not normally kid friendly.

Domestic two-hour Brisbane to Melbourne flight? No way. Supermarket shopping trolley? Forget it.

The other day the man and I were out for breakfast and, while he ordered, I was assigned the simple task of finding the perfect place to sit.

Immediately my eyes were drawn to a spare table/couch option at the back of the cafe.

It seemed perfect, but after a few moments of chit chat we both realised the seating option was a bad choice.

There were about five children under five within a metre of our table: some on the ground, some hanging off mums' shoulders, another sitting on my new handbag. Not cool at all.

But what really gets my goat is how inconsiderate children are.

When I think baby, messy, noisy, smelly and sticky is more likely to resonate than cute, cuddly and friendly.

I think the youngest I can tolerate are well-behaved teenagers.

Don't get me wrong, I can tolerate kids to a certain extent.

At least they are mute when they're napping, and I suppose those little baby booties and bonnets are pretty cute.

Just don't expect me to babysit or forge a career in childcare anytime soon.