Angie gutted before annihilating clinger
After enduring a crushing walkout that no one wanted, Angie is left destroyed on Thursday night as she questions if she has just lost the man who could've been the one - and before her tears even dry, she's forced to annihilate that crying clinger as he begs her to go get coffee with him at a Gloria Jeans in the outside world.
"Ingenuine! They're all ingenuine," are the muffled cries that echo down the dirt road as Jamie's Uber zooms far far away.
We find everyone where we left them last night - in various states of dishevelment, scattered around the mansion's living room floor.
Shock pulses through the house as we all realise Ciarran has stormed out of the competition. Sprinting down the hallway, we push open the doors of all the spare bedrooms trying to locate him with no luck. A producer eventually finds him in a broom closer - stripping off his tuxedo and scratching at the microphone cables taped to his body. His eyes are bloodshot.
"Ciarran, he's received some bad news … and it's shattered his world," we hear a man's voice whisper. Angie snaps into action. She's furious with Jamie for wasting her time all evening with his quest to name names and out Carlin as a wannabe actor.
"I've been spending so much time following up Jamie's rumours that I had no idea what was going on with Ciarran," she puffs as she runs after Ciarran, catching up with him in the drive way. "Where are you going? No! No! No! No! I need to talk to you!"
Ciarran has changed into his denim jacket and tears are streaming down his cheeks. He's leaving and the sight of Angie guts him.
"My nan died," he cries. He doesn't want to leave, but he's destroyed.
"If I'm gonna be here, then … I honestly, I want to be, like, the best version I can be for you. And with everything that's going on, I honestly don't feel like I can be. I feel like we've got a connection. It's really hard for me to do this."
Angie doesn't want him to go. But she knows he has to.
"I'm not gonna lie. I'm definitely gonna regret doing this," Ciarran sobs. "I think maybe we could have been a perfect match. And even if you, you know, don't make it with any of these idiots that are in here … You can slide in my DMs."
Ugh. Heartbreaking. I'm pretty sure Jack whispers the same thing to Rose in Titanic just before she hogs the door and he dies.
Angie walks him to the car and they stand still, staring into each other's eyes. He picks an eyelash from her cheek and leans in to kiss her one final time. It's the best kiss Angie's had all series. Even with the snot. In moments like this, no one cares about snot.
The red tail lights of the Uber illuminate Angie's face and she looks out as the car disappears into the night.
"I guess I won't know now. But what if … he was the one? It does feel like my heart is a little bit broken," she tells us before breaking down completely. "What an awful night."
We throw our tacky red champagne glasses on the bitumen and embrace her.
Inside the mansion, Carlin is livid that Jamie told Angie he's only here to be The Bachelor 2020 and potentially secure a cameo on Neighbours as a PE teacher.
"One hundred per cent Jamie doesn't like the fact that I have a connection with Angie," Carlin snips to us and, while that's probably true, we're pretty sure Jamie's mostly just jealous he doesn't look this pretty in a tank top.
Angie is distraught. What if Ciarran was the one? And now she's stuck with a clinger, a dog influencer and some guy who wants to use her as a stepping stone to realising his dream of playing Toadie's long-lost and much hotter brother on Neighbours. She needs to shake off the blues and just have some fun. So she plans a premium, no expenses spared date with champagne and $1000 caviar. And she knows just the guy who will appreciate such a distinguished affair.
Timmmmm is off his game and Angie flips out and thinks he doesn't like her anymore. But it's just the three-piece suit that has put him in a bad mood. And look, I get it - I don't like wearing pants either. But everything returns to normal when producers drag out that old bath tub that Richie and Alex Nation filled with chocolate and had sex in.
Back at the mansion, the mood is sombre and the boys are still reeling from all the drama of the past 24 hours. Angie arrives and immediately pulls Carlin aside to ask him point blank if he has a StarNow talent profile.
"I should not have believed Jamie so quickly, but sometimes I think you are a little bit too good to be true," she says. It's not the first time Carlin has heard this. Ugh, hot people have it so hard sometimes.
Look, they're all cool and everything calms down and he'll probably make it to the finale. The mansion is finally at peace. At least for a second.
"This is the first night ever without drama," Timmmm says.
Well well. Thank you, Timmmmothy. What a lovely invitation for someone to step in and ignite some drama.
"It's about Angie and I tonight," Jamie blurts out. The next 10 minutes basically involves him dragging Angie into the garden and screaming the made-up word "ingenuine" approximately 31 times. Well, to be fair he also yells: "I need that intimacy time!"
Jamie tells Angie he has no regrets and his big dirty rumour is actually a cold hard fact.
"Mmmmmmmmm … Was it? What you said about Carlin was hardcore," she snaps. Her no-nonsense attitude sends Jamie into a spin and he reverses all his claims in a panic.
"OK. All right, I've made mistakes, Angie, OK? In the last couple of weeks I've made mistakes, I just … please can you let me redeem myself?" he begs.
But Angie's heard enough. She signals for the rose ceremony to begin and calls Carlin's name first because she knows that'll really punch Jamie in the guts.
It comes down to Jamie and some guy whose name we don't know. Will she dump the stranger? Or the crying clinger? She throws away all those warnings about stranger danger and chooses the man she has never met before.
"Alex?" she says with an upwards inflection, unsure of if she just guessed the stranger's name correctly.
Jamie's flattened. He thought for sure his controlling ways and loose grasp of the English language would win Angie's heart.
He demands a final chat and Angie grits her teeth and nods. They walk out into the darkness and he hands her a note.
When she opens it, all the words are spelt out in cut-up magazine letters. And when she looks up, he has vanished.
OK that part about the cut-up letters is a lie. Well, I don't know for sure. That could be true. Let's just call it speculation.